Dr. Tara
Apr. 8, 2026
EP 261: How to Get the Sex You Actually Want
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Tara, tenured professor, award-winning researcher, and author of the new book "How Do You Like It: A Guide For Getting What You Want (In Bed)," to talk about what it actually takes to have a satisfying, connected sex life. From communication to confidence to understanding what it is you like, this conversation breaks down the practical skills behind better sex.
What We Cover in This Episode:
- Why great sex is a learned skill, not something you’re just “good at.” Breaking down the myth that sex should come naturally and why education, practice, and communication matter.
- How to figure out what you actually want in bed. Simple ways to explore your desires, preferences, and turn-ons without shame or pressure.
- The biggest communication mistakes couples make about sex. Why avoiding conversations leads to disconnection and how to start talking about sex in a way that feels safe and productive.
- How to ask for what you want without feeling awkward or rejected. Practical tools for expressing needs, giving feedback, and building confidence when communicating about sex.
- Why desire can feel confusing or inconsistent in relationships. Understanding different desire styles and why your sex drive might not work the way you think it should.
- How to create more satisfying and connected sex in long-term relationships. Small shifts that can make a big difference in intimacy, pleasure, and emotional connection.
- What’s getting in the way of your sex life (and how to start shifting it). Common blockers like stress, shame, and unrealistic expectations, and how to work through them in real life.
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