Cass & Emma

Cass & Emma
Nov, 12, 2025

EP 240: Q&A: Why Do I Rush My Pleasure And How Do I Stop?!

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.

The Question: "My question is about breaking a negative habit. My long-term boyfriend is wonderful, patient, and always makes sure I finish, but sometimes I find myself not wanting to have sex at all because I don’t feel like giving myself the time. It’s like, “ugh, it takes too long and who has time for that?” How can I change that mindset, stop rushing my pleasure, and actually enjoy the process?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

  • Why it’s so hard to give yourself permission to take the time. And how guilt or pressure shows up even with a loving partner.
  • Where the “too much work” mindset comes from. We trace it back to messages about sex, bodies, and being “easy.”
  • Why it’s normal to feel impatient with your own pleasure. And how to shift out of that without forcing it.
  • How to make slowing down feel good instead of awkward. Real ways to make the build-up part of the fun again.
  • What to do when your brain won’t shut up during sex. Simple ways to come back to your body without overthinking.
  • How to talk to your partner when you need more time. Language that feels natural, not clinical or awkward.
  • Where to go from here. Check out our new ⁠1:1 coaching program⁠ and see how we can help you confidence, communicate better, and get the pleasure you deserve.

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