Nicholas Velotta
July 23, 2025
EP 224: It’s Not Just You: Relationships Are Harder Than Ever—Here’s Why
Why do relationships feel so DAMN complicated these days? Modern love comes with sky-high expectations—partners are expected to be our best friend, therapist, co-parent, and soulmate all rolled into one. In this episode, Nicholas Velotta, Ph.D. student and Head of Research at Arya, shares why relationships feel harder today, what the science of intimacy has to tell us, and how building community (and redefining partnership) can take the pressure off and bring the spark back.
- HWhy relationships feel harder than ever. Nicholas explains the cultural and social shifts that have added new layers of pressure to modern love.
- The myth of “one person meeting all your needs." How expecting a romantic partner to fill every role—friend, confidant, cheerleader—sets us up for frustration.
- The power of community for your love life. Why friendships and support systems are essential for a healthy relationship + how to build them.
- Redefining partnership and effort. We talk about the natural ebb and flow of giving and receiving, and why sometimes it’s okay to carry more of the weight.
- Taking action when things feel stagnant. Small, research-backed steps to break out of disconnection and rebuild intimacy.
- What the latest intimacy research has to teach us. Nicholas shares findings from his work on the tools couples need to stay connected long-term.
- How Arya is reshaping relationship and sexual wellness. A look at the couples platform helping partners strengthen their bond and stay curious.
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